I’m at an impasse, I feel.

The acting front has been slow…too slow!
I know its been slow for many however, it still drives me nuts.

On the other hand, my spring semester is underway and things are going well.
My Theater Appreciation class seems to be getting better and better; I’m constantly tweaking, making my lectures more efficient and concise, utilizing new and different media to make it more engaging. It’s good, I think I’m succeeding on that front.

Stage Make-Up (both sections) are comprised of a solid group of students; participatory and engaged.
It’s nice.
I’d like to think part of this is that my style of teaching is continuing to grow. Again, I say “part.”

I’m prepping for the Annual auditions in Philly (I’d love to act in/near my hometown) next month.
…something to do.

Speaking at a symposium at Rider next week on “Acting in Comedy,” so that’ll be fun in addition to beefing up the CV.
I’m also fight choreographer and make-up designer for a small production in the city next month. The Choking Game written by Kaitlin Colombo, co-produced by my friend, Eric Michael Gillett
Again – fun.

I can’t help but consider what the end-game is here…what am I doing?…really? I want to be further along. I used to think that the previous statement pertained to my “career;” now, I wonder if it is more about my life in general…finding happiness. Yes, I’m happiest when I’m working.
But, what is that about?
-some validation thing?
-true joy from doing what you love/meant to do?

What do I do when I’m not working? That is the big question.
Is there something else that can provide me as much joy when I do it?
How do I find/substitute that joy?
Is all this worth it?

No real answers; though I am working to find some….SOME.
It’s not all about answers.
I know part of this struggle is that I started this pursuit later in life. I may have mentioned before; I am on two time-lines:
1) my life time line-I feel I should be further along at my age (I KNOW, I gotta get over it…I’m trying!)
2) my career line-starting when I did, being where I’m at after just over 10 years (I’m not counting my time in school at The Academy and Mason Gross), I’m doing VERY well.
It’s challenging coalescing the two.

Hosting a bit of an Oscar party tonight, a small one. Should be fun; an evening with good food and good friends.
We’ll see how the awards pan out. I certainly have my opinions…